Date: Thursday August 25th, 2016
This afternoon I went to go see War Dogs with MV, one of my best friends. The movie was interesting but I developed an intense dislike for one of the main characters, Efraim. No spoilers here. Verdict: worth a watch but not in theaters.
This will likely be one of my last few posts about C. As the start of the semester draws near, my time grows short. I intended to write much more of the time I loved spending with her but it’s probably best if I stop here. My last two entries dedicated to C will be regarding the second and third letters, the former of which I had already sent. The third one will be delivered by slightly less conventional means. At this point, I will say that I love her but I’ve lost hope. My goal with my last two letters is simply to let her know how wonderful she is. That is how I choose to move on.
Below is an excerpt from a post she wrote in late May. Read it if it pleases you! 😀
I thought I had it figured out at the end of my freshman year of college. I was sure of my intended major, my place in the clubs I was involved in, what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and my friend group. I didn’t realize that things can change in an instant, or even over the course of 3 months. Through all of it though, I had one friend who stuck with me through it all. I mean everything from me hitting rock bottom to the highest of highs. He was the first person I went to when someone hurt me, the one I went to for laughs, for advice, for everything.
Sophomore year came and things started to change slowly. I didn’t make time for him as I got closer to others and made time for other things in my life. I completely neglected him and wrote it off that we weren’t very compatible. We fought like a married couple. I let others get in my head on him and I’s friendship. We would have these talks where he would be honest about feeling left out and I promised to be a better friend but even I didn’t 100% believe what I was saying.
He gave me a wake up call by sending me a text that basically explained that he was done. I think that’s what really woke me up. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I was complete jerk to him and I became the flaky friend who I despised. I took someone who was my best friend and I loved infinitely for granted. I broke his heart. And all he’s ever done is ask to spend time with me. I know this is a blog post. I know I shouldn’t put all of this out there. But I just…I don’t know.
I don’t want to fight like a married couple. I have absolutely nothing to fight with her about. I truly wish things could be the same, that we could still be best friends like we were before the summer… but it seems to me that our communication is forced. I’m always the one checking to see how things are, the one messaging her first and it’s clear that I don’t need to be. She’s busy and has plenty of people in her life capable of doing the same so I’ll leave them to it. Whatever happens to our friendship now, I leave it to her. I’ve done my part. Just glad that she’s happy and doing well! ^.^
As I read this over, I know this entry feels rather down but I’m quite happy right now! In a few days, I get to see all my friends at Pitt again including Ali, MC, and a ton of others I haven’t seen since April. I’m really looking forward to it. Can’t wait to move into my apartment in Shadyshide either! I’ve wanted to live their since sophomore year but haven’t moved off campus till now. Pictures to come.
Now that I have an iPad again, I’m taking to learning French seriously again. Definitely getting better and my vocabulary is increasing. I’ll be starting the mini-lessons I had earlier in my blog but solely for French this time, not Latin. I’ll have to save that for when I have more time but I will learn Latin mark my words.
Ended up getting a new laptop because my old one couldn’t be repaired soon enough. Now I can blog regularly again! 😎
Doing well with my workouts as well. Now I’m not just really healthy, I’m fit as well. Feels nice. ^.^
Finally, we stopped by Panda Express and Chipotle after the movie and I got a free bowl thanks to the Chiptopia summer rewards!
To awkward endings,
P.S. The past few days I’ve been watching random childhood movies with my sister including the Little Mermaid and Agent Cody Banks. Love them both. Just painted her fingernails. What have I become rofl. Unrelated, I’m considering a change in my tagline.
Below is another of my favorite songs from high school. The lyrics are perfect; even learned the entire first verse. I have to really love a song to remember its lyrics haha.
We Are Young
My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses asking ’bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you’re trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I’m trying hard to take it back
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home
And I really tried everything I could think of. I did my best and I have no regrets. 🙂