Entry #43 – The End

Ice Cave Environment

Date: Tuesday September 20th, 2016
Time: 16:32:01
Location: Hillman Library

And I’m back! Had drill this past weekend Friday-Sunday, including a physical fitness assessment (APFT) Saturday morning. I maxed the push-ups, passed sit-ups, and failed the run. Results in table below! Have I ever mentioned I don’t run? 20 minutes is a preposterous time for 2 miles haha. I did, however, greatly improve my time from the previous attempt. I also got the new army combat uniform (ACU) which is much greener than the previous. ^.^ It looks fantastic!

Month Push-ups Sit Ups 2-Mile Run
March 2016 45 55 20:28
Sept 2016 76 58 17:56

Side Note: Push-ups and sit ups are each 2 minute events. You get two minutes to do as many good form push-ups/sit ups as you can manage.

Fitness Data

Since we’re on the topic of fitness, below are a few data points from the Omron Body Composition Monitor, a weight scale I bought last Spring which gives a ton of interesting information about your body. Haven’t used it for about a month, but I clearly need to stay on top of it because my body aged a year. T.T #forever18

Fitness Data
Day (2016) Weight (lbs) BMI Fat % Muscle % RM (kcal) Body Age Visceral Fat
Mar 12  140.0  21.1  18.8  41.3  1556  20  4
Mar 20  133.0  20.1  14.3  43.2  1517  18  2
Apr 28  135.0  20.4  16.2  41.8  1521  18  3
Sep 16  144.6  21.3  15.4  43.1  1602  19  4

The End

It’s over! My adventures with C are will be no more. The ending was rather surprising. It left me clueless. I’ll include her post from that day below. She chose to end the friendship in less than a minute, with words that I gave up trying to figure out the meaning of, “I don’t like how you love people,” among others. In any case, I’m proud of her for saying so in person.


Utter confusion. I don’t know how I could ever hurt anyone this much, let alone her. All I know is that she doesn’t remember me and that’s fine. I’d much rather find out now than later. What I’m more concerned about is loving someone “like” family. What does that mean exactly? The way I see it, someone is either family or they’re not. And family is forever. You don’t give up on them. It doesn’t matter what happens, you don’t give up. Clearly, I was never family.

So that’s why I’m careful with the way I phrase things. I don’t say my friends are “like” sisters and brothers. After a certain point, my friends are my brothers and sisters. Entry #6 which I wrote back in June is a case in point. But I know everyone isn’t this way. In fact, a lot of people seem to give up on “family” rather easily. Ah well, I will not. I have no idea what goes on in her mind anymore so I won’t be bothering her, but I love her nonetheless. If not having me in her life makes her happy, I will gladly oblige. 😀

Je t’aime, mon ange. Vous allez me manquer.

Au Revoir,

P.S. I have been quite productive since the semester started. Even finished the next month of homework for one of my business classes. Honestly though, my working out has been very irregular. I’m healthy but not fit. I was actually expecting to do around 70 sit ups on my fitness test -_- … close enough!!!

The question stands. How do I love people? Is it something I need to fix? Time to figure it out. Maybe my writings thus far contain enough clues to piece it together.

Beautiful Goodbye – Maroon 5

Picture credit: Blueroguevyse on DeviantArt


8 thoughts on “Entry #43 – The End

  1. I see things didn’t really work out between you and C…sorry about that.
    Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got a lot to get yourself busy with… Let her figure out what she wants. She’ll probably let you know when she knows and she’s ready. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here’s my opinion…I’ve got some years on you and I’ve had my heart broken a few times. (If that matters.. 😉 ) Better to have it end sooner than later like you said, and the greatest gift you can give yourself is to learn what you can and keep moving forward. Relationships are not always easy…but they should be easier…most of the time.
    Trying to figure out what someone means is maddening. If she isn’t being clear then it’s best to find someone who makes sense to you.
    Same for her. If you’re not understanding what she means…better for her to find someone who just gets what she’s saying. Because it’s the same for both sides. Maddening to try to get someone to understand how you feel.

    Right or wrong….there are always 2 sides and it’s my belief that people spend far too much time and energy trying to convince others to see things from their side.

    Had you been married for years, my thoughts would be different, but you’re both young and you should both be happy.

    Wow…that’s a lot of opinion huh? (All said with kindness and love! )

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a lesson for you should as someone who is rooting for you and who wants you to succeed.

    You should never fail any portion of your APFT. If your running isn’t good, you should keep a schedule on a spreadsheet and run twice a week every week at least three miles each time as long as you are in the military.

    Running should be an addiction. If you aren’t in shape when you go overseas and you are carrying a ton of equipment you will literally die. I wish I was kidding or being dramatic, but I’m telling truth.

    The first thing people evaluate you by in the Army is your fitness. By the end of my career, I was 49, I was running 100 times (not a typo) a year just to keep up with my APFT. I went to Iraq at age 46 (27 years into my career) and I worked out and ran at every chance I got.

    I ran in every 5k and 10k I could find in the region on weekends when I was at Ft. Hood before we deployed.

    I envy you still being in uniform. You are lucky. It’s a gift. Get in the habit of running. Go sign up for a 5k, and run all-out the first two miles. Yes, running sucks… embrace the suck.

    Peace be the Botendaddy

    Liked by 1 person

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