Entry #14 – My Apology to You

Wounded Knight in a Cave

Date: Wednesday June 15th, 2016
Time: 21:49:38

I don’t know how to start this post. It’s unexplored territory and will be my first attempt at a letter of apology. I hurt someone close to me but I didn’t realize how deep the wound was. Yesterday I felt it’s sting from an unlikely source. All I can say is I finally understand. I only hope this letter doesn’t come too late.

To my readers, I request that you play the song located at the bottom while reading the letter.

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I know not if you read my thoughts this day. I know not if you will ever stumble upon these words. I shall write them regardless for I owe you an apology.

It was never my intention to cause you pain, yet I did not show restraint. It was never my intention to push you away, yet I unwittingly turned my back.

There is so much unknown to me that I struggle under it’s weight. But I grow stronger. I grow wiser. I will do better not only because I so choose but because you deserve it. I am ready to face this challenge.

There towers over me an alluring beast I work diligently to tame. Still it bests me more often than not. One moment it rests peaceably beside me. The next I am crushed by it’s burden. It contains much wisdom but it does not hold back. It is brutal, crippling even. I have no right to unleash a beast upon you which I myself cannot subdue.

Honesty stands before me and I welcome it. If I was not born a warrior, I would be on my knees. I have the courage to oppose it. We lock eyes but at times my gaze falters and the battle is lost. This beast craves weakness. It feeds on faults that I carry in no small amount.

Fortunately, I do not face it alone. The world’s wisest stand behind me, mortals and otherwise. God guides me forward saying this beast was born to conquer. Time places his hand on my shoulder and I feel his strength course through me. Mortal men that confronted Honesty and held their ground detail for me the tales of their encounters.

Each day Honesty sees my resilience grow. I see it’s nature transform before me. It is more submissive than once I remember though it still has it’s “playful” moments. Even for all it’s offenses I feel no hatred toward it. I don’t feel the need to slay this creature. No, it is too magnificent for such a fate. It will soon be one of my most powerful allies.

I shall conquer Honesty. I shall prevail.

I am truly sorry it escaped me. I was weak and I humbly ask for your forgiveness.

Deepest regrets,
Pulkit

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P.S. I have an important lesson for everyone tomorrow. I had planned to include it here but decided against a long post again. Until tomorrow 😉

French: Je suis désolé – I am sorry; Je suis vraiment désolé – I’m really sorry
Latin: Me paenitet – I’m sorry (Literally “It sorrows me,” most common form used by the Romans); Mea culpa – My fault

Survive the Swordland – SAO

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